How to Spot a Sociopath; You’ve Got to be Cruel to be Cruel

DISCLAIMER: I am not a psychologist. My writing is based on my personal observations.

If you’re reading this, you’ve probably fallen into the warm, open arms of a cold-hearted sociopath. The number of sociopaths in society is growing exponentially, as is the prevalence of psychopaths and narcissists. Anyone can become trapped in the intricate web of lies which a sociopath weaves; the real struggle is freeing yourself.


The serpentine sociopath will display a number of very distinctive characteristics: ruthlessness, charm, mental tenacity, intelligence and a lack of remorse. They are pathological liars with a grandiose sense of self-importance.

Unlike psychopaths, a sociopath’s behavior is not innate. Their predilection for causing emotional ruin stems from personal experiences. Many sociopaths have had a traumatic childhood, encouraging them to emulate the control that a relative or friend had over them at some point in their upbringing.



Sociopaths are not usually patient and once they have targeted their prey they will hook them with incredible speed. The predator is always a smooth talker, speaking of opulence and oozing an unfathomable sense of self-assurance. They will talk up their ambitious business plans and their impressive lineage. They have the ability to emulate romance and affection, rather than actually feel it. This will encourage you to look past his or her lack of friends or any tangible support network.

The sociopath is a fantastic strategist and will take note of those who are close to you. They will make damning remarks about your close friends. Like a frog in a boiling pot of water, you will hardly notice as you slowly become socially isolated.

American Psycho.jpg
Although Christian Bale is more a psychopath than a sociopath in blockbuster ‘American Psycho’, his bloodlust is masked by his ostensible ‘charm’.

Once a sociopath has you their grasp, they will begin their coups d’état, enacted with a frisson of anticipation. Anything you have confided in him or her during your ‘seduction’ will be tactically used against you.

Morally blinded, you will buy the excuses which the sociopath uses to excuse his bad-form, no matter how incongruous.

“I drank all the alcohol at your grandmother’s funeral because there were plenty of old veterans here who wanted to have a chat about golf.”

“I acted that way because someone gave me expired MDMA… it wasn’t my fault!”

If you question anything, you are called ‘crazy’ and ‘insecure’. It’s hard to leave, because you may have become emotionally dependent on the Sociopath, who will stroke your hair and hold your hand while single-handedly plotting your demise. The Sociopath will begin a very strategic smear campaign.

Cardinal Pell
Cardinal George Pell has been accused of failing to address claims of sexual assault within the Catholic Church. His behaviour can be characterised as sociopathic. See Tim Minchin’s charming ballad below.

But his campaign is doomed from the beginning. Ultimately, the Sociopath’s ammunition is based on lies which are not plausible. As Mark Twain aptly stated, “if you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” This will ring true as glaring inconsistencies begin to emerge from their stories. In other words, a Sociopath’s proverbial will hit the fan.

Eventually, once a Sociopath has run out of ridiculous excuses, they may simply look you in the eye and tell you how gullible you were and how easy it was to fool you. Perhaps you will have already walked away before they have the chance to gain any final satisfaction from your emotional destruction.

Never view yourself as a victim in this situation. Post-fact, you have been blessed with the wisdom of foresight. In future, you will smell a sociopath from a mile away and will know to avoid them at all cost. You will reconnect with old friends, work harder and find love with someone compassionate. You will never take a good relationship for granted and you will appreciate the kindness that you see in others. Eventually, the Sociopath themself will become the loser in this situation; as people will eventually see through the thinly-veiled façade of charm.

Always remember that a Sociopath cannot be changed. They can never be rationalised with and they are hardwired to be cruel. Dealing with a sociopath provides some valuable life lessons; to tread carefully when dealing with people and to ask serious questions but to always have faith and trust the magic of new beginnings.




3 thoughts on “How to Spot a Sociopath; You’ve Got to be Cruel to be Cruel

  1. if you expect from one post to know a psychopath from a mile away you will have a rude awakening. psychopathy is a spectrum with many different subtypes.


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