Five Times Mark Latham Has Proven Himself to be a Fat, Balding, Tory, Home County, Upper-Middle-Class Twit


Mark Latham first made his debut in Federal politics as the Member for Werriwa, snagging the leadership of the Labor Party in 2003. Since his resignation from politics in 2005, he has published a number of incriminating political exposés, including A Conga Line of Suckholes.


In recent years, Latham has somehow wiggled his way atop a political soapbox, spending eight years as a columnist for the Australian Financial Review and is currently running a podcast on Triple M. Some of his recent comments lead us to wonder whether he has completely lost his marbles.

  1. The Sunrise Incident

Sunrise recently made the rookie error of inviting Latham onto their show to debate whether men are second-class citizens due to the influence of feminism. According to Latham, men are luckily able to overlook the ‘feminist clap trap’ as ‘feminism is essentially selfish’.

He then proceeded to insult the guest speaker and columnist for the Guardian, Van Badham, claiming that she is a self-declared anarchist and that ‘thankfully’ feminists like her only represent “point zero, zero, per cent of thought in Australia so she’s safely ignored.” The result? A group of middle-aged men yelling over the top of each other about women’s right and achieving nothing.

  1. The Domestic Violence Incident

Latham recently claimed that men hit women as a “coping mechanism”. During a 20-minute rant, he took aim at Australian of the Year, Rosie Batty, whose son died in a domestic violence incident, for “demonizing men” and making violent men “feel worse about themselves.”

Comedian Wil Anderson was apt when he stated that Latham’s keys to success were to “be loud, terrible, unpopular and low-rating, miraculously get new job. Repeat.”

  1. The Hungry Jacks Incident

On 19 January 2006, Latham was dining at Hungry Jacks in Campbelltown when he was photographed by a photographer for The Daily Telegraph, Ross Schultz. Schultz alleged that Latham grabbed his camera and smashed it before calling Schultz a paedophile. The following day, Latham appeared to drive towards a Channel 7 television cameraman, with the intention of running him down. Latham was charged with assault, malicious damage and theft in relation to the Hungry Jacks incident but failed to appear in the Local Court twice. Instead, he appeared at the Australian National University to deliver a lecture on political science. When asked by a student, how he could blame everyone but himself, he responded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t come in here and expose myself as a miserable arsewipe.”

Latham was eventually forced to pay $6763.70 in compensation for the camera which he damaged.

  1. The ‘Negro’ Incident

Latham recently came under fire during an appearance on Channel’s Nine The Verdict, where he attempted to defend the slur, Negro. Apparently Latham hadn’t received the memo that Negro is now an offensive term. Latham may be surprised to discover that we are no longer living in the early 1900s.

Host Karl Stefanovic quoted the Oxford Dictionary, noting that the word has been considered offensive since the Black Power Movement of the 1960s.

  1. The Andrew Robb Incident

We can add people with mental health issues to the long-list of minorities who Mark has insulted. In 2013, using his column at The Australian Financial Review, Mark targeted front-bencher Andrew Robb’s history of depression. Latham suggested that Robb was incapable of formulating policy due because he was a ‘troubled individual.’ He also appeared on Sky Television, waving around a copy of Robb’s memoir Black Dog Haze, claiming that Robb had “ousted himself as having a lifetime of trouble of mental illness.”

In response to this crusade, Robb responded that “I achieved a few things in those 43 years (of suffering depression). But I don’t regret going public. I had no choice really but I’ve got nothing to prove. I had to deal with it and I did and I’ve got a new life really.”

We have all encountered a Mark Latham, whether it be at work, university or during our daily schedule. It’s hard not to become impassioned by characters such as these – who have a reckless disregard for their own dignity.

In a democratic country, Mark Latham is entitled to voice his honest, albeit derogatory opinion. Likewise, I am also entitled to my criticism what he says.



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